The Weekend I Almost Called My Lender to Sell

About two months in, on a Sunday afternoon, I sat down at my kitchen table with my husband and had the conversation I never thought I would have.

We seriously talked about calling the lender, telling them I could not do it, and asking what it would take to unwind the loan.

That weekend did not happen because I was weak. It happened because I was human — the schedule was empty, the numbers were not moving, and I was tired.

Part 1 — The Lie Every Owner Tells Themselves

Before you open, you tell yourself one thing: "When it gets hard, I will just work harder."

That is not what happens.

What happens is that it gets hard, and you get tired, and then you start doing math you have never done before. Math like: what is the smallest possible exit? What would I lose? How would I explain it? Would my husband leave me over this?

That math is not weakness. It is the brain quietly looking for the door.

Part 2 — The Kitchen Table

I was crying to my husband, asking whether I had made the right decision opening a startup dental office downtown, in a large and competitive city.

He reminded me it was only month two, and he did not pretend it was easy. He said we could call the lender and look at our options — and then he asked me the question that stopped me: wasn't this the goal? Wasn't this the dream?

That was the moment I had to choose. I could be defeated before I had really started, or I could get control of my expectations and my emotions and go build the business.

Part 3 — Why I Didn't

From that moment on, I stopped trying to fix everything at once. I focused on one day at a time, getting a little better every day.

Not long after, I was let go from my associate position when they found out I had opened my own practice. It stung, but it forced my hand: I had to narrow in on my vision and make this work.

By month three, I broke even. My husband pointed out that for a startup, breaking even that early is a real feat, not a small one. Those small wins started to stack, so I set monthly goals to keep the momentum going. Around month nine, he suggested I bring on an associate to help with the patient load. I was hesitant, but I trusted his business background and hired one. That was the turning point — I finally started working on the business instead of only in it.

Part 4 — The Honest Frame

Every owner I have talked to who made it has a version of this weekend. Not some of them. All of them.

The question is not "will I have moments where I want to quit?" You will. Everyone does.

The real question is this: when the quitting-math shows up, do I have someone to sit with — and a specific action I can take the next morning that isn't panic?

If you do not have those two things lined up before you open, start building them now. Find the person/ spouse/ mentor/ friend. Find the board you can lean on when times get tough to give you the clarity you need to move forward.

Reply and tell me where you are in this. I read every one.

— Jennifer